hey, goshdarnit im so happy. so really really happy. so very very very very happy. it's my birthday in one day. gonna do something hella brave. birthday present to myself...dealing with the big dadhole. im basically terrified, but it's not like im gonna die. i already know how awful and good i am, simultaneously. i can get in a hole and pull myself back out of it. i am so ever ever grateful to all of my friends and family who have thrown me ropes over the years. bless you! bless me! bless us all ! in one little cobbled street of my heart, tiny tim lives.
so im very very happy because my life is so very good, thanks be to the goddess! my job is lovely, the weather is awesome, my lover is sweet and real, this cool astrology chick is gonna be my friend, there is a kid riding a red mechanical walker up and down the street while another boy runs around him, oh my gosh it is so funny, body is strong and healthy, gods are helping, my mom is doing alright, got to see her, meetin rob in half hour to train.
thank you thank you thank you.

i am listening to liz phair. my mom is coming on saturday at 12:25 pm. we are staying at my nanny family's house as they are out of town. my friend returns in maybe one week! my friend! one week!
move towards stronger, more centered, stacked, upright, straightup, sound. someone who doesnt hold their pee for anything.

in other worlds, im on vacation! holy moly remember vacation!? it's great! it's still great! the relief i feel is immense. i was getting very, very tired there. fuck rent. it is a real, reliable, relayed and revisited conversation i have to have with myself about becoming a prostitute. there is just one step that i cant connect. i think it's the bilquis thing.

took a shower. one step closer to clean livin. now sleep.