no where else to put this

i could just write this in my journal but anytime there's a question of abuse for me i find it better to put it in accessible places where others can see. lotsa times i will write in a journal for a period of time and then write something really raw and then never be able to write in it again, even if there are pages left. get to raw point, gotta get another journal.
but that's the thing. i think im about to get real raw for a real long time and just stay there. (aside: the "j" on my keyboard is sticky and it makes me see how often i use the word "just". oh, i think i just fixed the "j". realization solved.)
get raw. get real. get clean on the insides...get all those parasites hiding in my warm, wet genitals outta there. parasites and bacteria love to hide in warm, wet places. get all this anger out, get over this shit with my dad. let go and let it go. jupiter is in my 7th house and i better expand my whole notion of what a relationship is. time to get bigger. (but not my belly with a baby.) i might need to rock the whole celibacy thing again for a while. i mean, making out is cool but ive definitely had enough cock in me to handle a bit without. i dont even care about it that much. my uterus hurts. i need to heal myself so bad or i will die. i will still die of course, but hopefully not of old gunk and heartbreak/ache. meditating is good. as is these exercises for opening, grounding and balancing the chakras. yknow what, im gonna smoke a joint and go to the library. ok. bye.